I had a horrible nightmare over the weekend about my child being taken. In the dream I saw the creep and was chasing them and screaming. I woke up panicked and 5 days later, I am still unsettled by the dream. This is all part of the paranoia that I have started to develop since becoming a parent. I have had dreams of him falling off a bridge and now this one. I know there are others that I can't remember.
The world that we live in seems more dangerous than when I was a kid. We used to go out and ride our bikes all over the place. We'd be gone for the entire day, sometimes taking snacks and not even coming home for lunch. We would stay out and roam the neighborhood after dinner until my mom called us in after it got dark. How do I give Andrew all the great childhood experiences without developing an ulcer? Luckily I have a few years before he can go out on his own, but it's coming. How do I make sure the paranoia will not rub off on him? I worry that it already has when we are outside and Andrew grabs onto me for dear life when the local homeless man walks by. (To be honest, we believe that he is homeless and he mutters to himself so he is kind of scary.)
I don't want to smother him, but I am worried about my sanity as he gets older. I already worry and he is never out of my sight. I think I need to revisit the doctor and resume the Prozac. Hopefully we can get pregnant again soon, so we can decide when we will be done having kids and I can look forward to long term Prozac usage.
I am sure that Justin would like me back on the Prozac too, right honey?