I had a horrible nightmare over the weekend about my child being taken. In the dream I saw the creep and was chasing them and screaming. I woke up panicked and 5 days later, I am still unsettled by the dream. This is all part of the paranoia that I have started to develop since becoming a parent. I have had dreams of him falling off a bridge and now this one. I know there are others that I can't remember.
The world that we live in seems more dangerous than when I was a kid. We used to go out and ride our bikes all over the place. We'd be gone for the entire day, sometimes taking snacks and not even coming home for lunch. We would stay out and roam the neighborhood after dinner until my mom called us in after it got dark. How do I give Andrew all the great childhood experiences without developing an ulcer? Luckily I have a few years before he can go out on his own, but it's coming. How do I make sure the paranoia will not rub off on him? I worry that it already has when we are outside and Andrew grabs onto me for dear life when the local homeless man walks by. (To be honest, we believe that he is homeless and he mutters to himself so he is kind of scary.)
I don't want to smother him, but I am worried about my sanity as he gets older. I already worry and he is never out of my sight. I think I need to revisit the doctor and resume the Prozac. Hopefully we can get pregnant again soon, so we can decide when we will be done having kids and I can look forward to long term Prozac usage.
I am sure that Justin would like me back on the Prozac too, right honey?
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4 comments:
Oh gosh, I know. Everything scares me to death. Especially cars and the idea of accidents....
I don't know if the world is more dangerous or if we just know more. According to John Stossel things are actually safer but information just travels faster and we hear so much more about the bad stuff. Like you are way more likely to have a car accident than for your kid to be kidnapped, but we worry about kidnapping because it always makes the news.
Whatever the case it I think that crazy worrying is just a part of being a parent. It's because we love them so darn much and realize our world would just come crashing down if something happened to them. I'm not sure Prozac will cure that!
Yes, they do make people lojack. You can get GPS thingies, if it makes you feel better. Just put it on his ankle like a carrier pigeon! :)
I suffer from quick flashes of Jack falling from somewhere and hitting his head. It seems so real when I see it in my mind's eye it makes me jump. Then I swirl into an anxiety attack. Bach's Rescue Remedy saves my ass when this happens.
It's the curse of Motherhood. I have never loved as deeply, nor have I worried more.
Sorry I'm a little late commenting on this--sickness over here. Anyway, I totally understand--we live here and there's absolutely no kidnapping--maybe one murder every 18 months etc. and any crime is usually family related---but I still worry about my kids! Even when they are playing in the yard I envision some kidnapper from the States coming here and taking them---it's awful and it doesn't help that I had a terrible encounter with some weird guy (he was American)at the beach a few weeks ago---I was shaking so badly.
Anyway, I like Felicia's idea of the GPS(:
Bobby has two way radios, plus he is getting a cellphone that has GPS. He has to check in with me if he is going out of our land, plus if he gets out of contact range he is not allowed to play at his friend's house for a week.
It's scary,I am super scared about kidnapping, plus I have a kid who is super friendly and would go with anyone, even though it has been repeatedly told about not going with strangers. We have actually made him start watching some of the crime shows (real life and regular tv) as he will ask more questions if he sees what is going on, I think we now have him scared of going with strangers, but don't want to ever test it out.
I would like a lojack for my kid.
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