Fall is my favorite season. It's not bone chilling cold or sweltering hot. It is cool and crisp. I love the fall. There is nothing better than a cool day with the sun shining. But fall comes with it's own set of issues. In addition to the 7 day a week grind between my job and the pumpkin farm, this is the time of year when I truly and deeply miss smoking.
For those of you who do not know, I used to be a smoker. I loved smoking. Anytime anyone asked me when I was going to quit, I would answer, "When I find out I am pregnant." You all know about Andrew, so you can safely assume that he is the reason I quit. It basically came down to being a woman of my word. I had to quit, or I would never live it down. Andrew's well being had a lot to do with it, but I knew that I would be harrassed if I didn't do it. We found out about Andrew on May 9, 2004 (Mother's Day) and by the 11th I was smoke free. It sounds terrible, but I finished my pack. Through my pregnancy, I didn't miss it. The smell of cigarettes made me ill. The preganancy really worked for me with this. I didn't have the cravings or the nicotine fits. The hormones masked that. But about 6 months after having Andrew, I started to feel the pull.
I am still a non-smoker 2 and a half years later, but everytime fall comes around, I truly miss it. I am determined not to go back. I don't want to have to go through quitting again with the next kid. I know that I am better off, but I miss it. I dream about it.
Sweet, sweet dreams of nicotine .