Monday, October 09, 2006


Fall is my favorite season. It's not bone chilling cold or sweltering hot. It is cool and crisp. I love the fall. There is nothing better than a cool day with the sun shining. But fall comes with it's own set of issues. In addition to the 7 day a week grind between my job and the pumpkin farm, this is the time of year when I truly and deeply miss smoking.

For those of you who do not know, I used to be a smoker. I loved smoking. Anytime anyone asked me when I was going to quit, I would answer, "When I find out I am pregnant." You all know about Andrew, so you can safely assume that he is the reason I quit. It basically came down to being a woman of my word. I had to quit, or I would never live it down. Andrew's well being had a lot to do with it, but I knew that I would be harrassed if I didn't do it. We found out about Andrew on May 9, 2004 (Mother's Day) and by the 11th I was smoke free. It sounds terrible, but I finished my pack. Through my pregnancy, I didn't miss it. The smell of cigarettes made me ill. The preganancy really worked for me with this. I didn't have the cravings or the nicotine fits. The hormones masked that. But about 6 months after having Andrew, I started to feel the pull.

I am still a non-smoker 2 and a half years later, but everytime fall comes around, I truly miss it. I am determined not to go back. I don't want to have to go through quitting again with the next kid. I know that I am better off, but I miss it. I dream about it.

Sweet, sweet dreams of nicotine .


samantha said...

Hey, good for you!! My husband was a smoker for almost 10 years and has not smoked in 10 years--he still craves though--I never smoked so I have no idea the feeling--thankfully!!! Keep it up!!

Anonymous said...

I miss it when I'm walking the dogs at night - that used to be Dunhill time for me. Or when I'm having a good martini out. It's so hard to drink without smoking. You can easily smoke without drinking, but drinking without smoking just feels...unnatural.

Chris said...

I don't drink much now. I just don't know how to drink without a smoke. You are so right about it feeling unnatural.

Animatrixie said...

Hey Chris, how goes? Thanks for the comment on the blog - Lisa contacted me awhile ago and said she'd pass along the info, so I'm glad that followed through. :)

Looks like you're doing pretty well for yourself! Good to see. Your little boy's a cutie. :)

It's nice to see some re-connecting on the SCS front, though since I moved away from the midwest so many years ago, I'm not sure how well my LaLa Land lifestyle will be understood, if at all. Heh, I'm sure we can give it a shot, though! ;)

Chris said...

Hey Jill,

Glad to hear back. My email is on my blog. If you want to send me one with your address we can catch up outside the comments sections. Things are going well. Things look to be going well for you too. I hear you also have a son. I look forward to catching up with you.


P.S. - I so totally adore The Replacements!!!!